Chapter 1: Knowing who you are.

Intentionality and Information

You suck.

I suck. We all suck.  Sad but true.  What you are, as well, is a priceless and unique creation.  One eternal and individual as well as part of a whole.  The problem arises in that we are at best mediocre in all things decided and applied.  The strange thing is we have talents and abilities that far surpass those around us but with weaknesses that would make a nun blush.  We tend to think (knowingly or unknowingly) of those people immensely successful as great in every aspect of life who seem to excel not only in the results of their trade but also in the disciplines of their life.  The truth is that they suck as well.  They are good and even great at only some things, and mediocre at the rest.  What makes them successful is highly subjective to our own thought process and lack of information.  We automatically fill in the blanks and thus place them higher than ourselves.  Its tragic because in the end it creates in us a hole that deepens with every passing moment when we don’t challenge that thought process.  This spreads to our work and career, our relationships, our finances, and our choices in every moment.  The desires that may have been exciting and hopeful become failures or failed realizations as our hearts can’t seem to overcome the insecurity.  Opportunities for advancement, new business challenges, funner times with our kids, better conversations with our spouses, better choices with money, all become lost opportunities which then create a bigger hole which seems to swallow all of our being leaving a husk of a person without the one thing we need: hope.  

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Prof 13:12 ESV

What I love is the verse that precedes this one and one that is at the the heart of this blog:

Wealth gained hastily will dwindle,

But whoever gathers little by little will increase it.” Prov 13:11

I cannot stress enough the complexity of life, the world we live in as well as our very being, but in the end the major factor is information we lack.  We choose to allow any and all information into us unchallenged in its validity and use.  We are then too fatigued to absorb any information that would be relevant to our life.  This is considered the information and digital age and yet it is very common to ignore the simple fact that too much information is a detriment to health and growth.  On top of that we shy away from any internal development to process what really matters to us and thus utilize a path that selects the information that will help us reach the goals we want to obtain.

You see, there is value in the slow steady perseverance of our intentional choices.  Whether in money or time, decisions or reactions, talents or abilities, every small choice can make progress in any direction we choose.  And from what I have learned through experience the biggest hinderance to progress is doubt through the deepening hole that is created with the lack of proper information.  This instead stacks the limited information obtained into achievements of others versus your own.  This is just as cumulative in the negative aspect as is the positive.  What is truly tragic is that, according to the data, the small steps in either direction are not proportional but exponential.   Meaning that those small choices cascade to huge deficits if unchallenged: depression, anxiety, suicide, homicide, etc and in an alarming pace.  But alternatively the opposite is true as well as small determined choices in every moment of every day will create huge gains as time rolls on.  This is evident in the compound interest of financial investments and how those successful find more and more opportunities to be successful.  It is also the reason those in poverty not only remain there but sink farther and farther in.   

Examine your own life and you can see the example of this truth played out as the mistakes or missed opportunities seem to cascade.  The thought process continues to be fed, not with encouragement, but with constant criticism, much of which is then aimed at others.  The criticism is fueled by the internal dialog that points out any and every perceived mistake.  I believe this is what Jesus meant when we decide to save our life, we will lose it and when we lose it, we will save it.  The natural reaction, due to sin, is to let the weight of the complexity of our lives bear down constantly on us.  We strive to stop the rolling avalanche but like using a spoon to save you from the wall of snow, the futility of the tool of effort and striving becomes poison.  Sad to say this is more common than not but it doesn’t have to be the end of the story at all.  

Once again an alternative to the natural reaction is to begin your own avalanche of intention.  What little can be done each day in the small choices of intentionality will increase over time.  My desire is to create a community that will help search out the desires of the heart, help with paths of information that best achieve that, provide encouragement of each step, reminders of each goal, and connections with each other as the journey progresses.  These small steps will increase so that a day will come when the lessons we learn together will sit in our hearts a little longer and be more readily available to us each day so that the choices, the outcomes, the desires, and the feelings will show lasting fruit.  

Part of a whole

Truth: No one is great at everything.  Worst of all most are great at nothing because they don’t put effort into the things they could be great at or put too much effort into things they will never be great at.  

‘For the body does not consist of one member but of many.  If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body.  And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body.  If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing?   …But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.’ 1 Cor 12:14-18 ESV

Disembodied limbs aside, we are not to disregard anyone of their value, including ourselves (especially ourselves) as being part of a whole.  

All of us are a problem in some way but its true we are also a solution.  None of us have it all together and because of that in our day to day efforts we will succumb to the fallacy of our own making but we also have the potential to fill the gaps in each other if we understand the deficits of one person can be helped with the surplus of another.

The consequence of this in life is when we aren’t at our full potential in whatever we are talented at we turn inward and lash outward.  This is obvious to the over thinkers anonymous crowd but what isn’t obvious is WHAT do we do instead.  What are we talented in and what do we put effort into?  Where do we fit?

Do no despise small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.” Zach 4:10

This translation doesn’t quite illustrate the full picture but the gist is to understand a slow and steady process of new things or ventures is valuable because God will be the one to finish the work of what we begin.  Maybe we have an idea or a thought of how to proceed: a new career idea, a better way to spend money, a new relationship to forge with a potential spouse, but the first thing we ask is if its the right path and if the efforts put forth will be worth it.  I hate to break it to you but the journey is part of the learning process.  While planning and research are the best things you can do, to over plan or over research can mean making no progress at all.  You can overthink yourself into stasis.  (News flash, right?)

To add to that many times the question arises where we ask if our desires are from God or not.  And unfortunately, as we begin to make intentional decisions in a new direction, the only way to know is to let time tell.  What I feel is lost in the value of scripture is when people see the Bible in only it’s literalness.  If it isn’t in the Bible than it shouldn’t be done.  But if that were true (to the extreme of the idea) than there is no scripture on being the best restauranteur or the best accountant.  The bible does give the framework of life: things to avoid like sin which include coveting, lust, envy, etc; keys to life: love your God, love your neighbor; and examples (a great many many) of how people did all of these things right or wrong (mostly wrong).  Ultimately the scriptures were to highlight not what men do, but who God is in response to what men do. 

It should be freeing and yet excruciating to put action to application but the point is to start small each day.  Just start.  Don’t worry about the outcome or if its right for you or if it’s the best option.  The point is not to get overwhelmed in decision and thought and to simply do rather than think.   This means learning from mistakes which is an over thinkers’ nightmare.  But the secret is that we need the mistakes to grow.  That seems obvious as well but what isn’t is that grace shows it fullest power in our mistakes, not when doing things perfectly.  And why not ask for help?  Find those successful in whatever it is you desire and ask.  Mistakes will come but maybe there are more crucial ones you can avoid by asking someone who made those mistakes?

To start what though?  Most likely when you read this you probably already know.  It’s the idea in the back of your head or the one that seems impossible.  Start a new job, a new career.  Break up with that person who isn’t committing.  Read that book or watch that lecture.  It’s that thing that gives you a little sweat when you think of it.  But what God says is that He is the one who moves and completes the work, if it is indeed aligned with His heart.  And God will move you in the direction He needs you to be no matter what.  The point is to move as you cannot guide anything that isn’t willing to move (a fact amply demonstrated by children and cats).

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

Proverbs 16:9 ESV

Truth: Without mistakes or sin, Grace, while infinite in its power, has little effect in your life.  

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  For one will scarcely die for a righteous person –  though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die – but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:6-8

Think about it: do you really need unmerited favor and forgiveness if you always did the right thing and everything you touched turned to gold plated chocolate diamonds? Or lets put it this way: Will grace be needed in heaven? I would guess not since our union with God will be perfect.  So grace is a gift to us for our mistakes in this life in order that we don’t carry them and thus let them effect us by labeling us as the mistake.  Grace is an aspect of Gods Nature, not something He does.  Grace will be over us always because of who God is, even in heaven.  My point is that at the fullest of graces power will be the need, and the need of it is always in our mistakes, sin, and the weight of our lives bearing down on us.  

Due to who we are in nature the weight of our lives and the response to that weight cause turmoil through a lack of effort to focus our lives in any direction that will bear fruit.  It is in the small steps of each day that roll into a ball of chaos or a ball of blessing.  What fights against the desire to give in to a more leisurely downward spiral are a community that is both learning and teaching, founded in humility.  We are all part of a whole and contributors to the gains that a community will make if in one accord or mind.  If we are all working toward a life that utilizes the over thinkers brain in a way that shows action and results, then we share a common history and goal.

In closing to the section just a quick note that illustrated to me the complexity of this ‘walk” as Christians call it and the need for grace in this life.

“Faith in God tends to come from the standpoint of ‘trust by doing:’ a standpoint that applies the scenario if God says to climb a mountain, for example, then we do it because we trust there is something good from Him for doing so.  It is my determination that there is a faith that comes from a realization that without God the weight of our existence and responsibility has no result but to crush us under the pressure of our choices and consequences thereafter and thus allow sin to be the savior: to seek out sin instead as the reward for our efforts to continue.  Faith in Christ and the Father means that what we do now matters so much that He sees what is inside our hearts and thus helps us to carry out what is there when in its purest form because the heart He gives is truly new, traded in place of the heart of stone that took up residence before, but now is filled with the desires that are from His own heart.  Faith, in my opinion, is almost a soundless whisper, a gift to Him, saying ‘Thank you.’”  ~Unknown.