Passing thoughts… – Over thinkers

“A man is not a Jew because he is one outwardly, nor is circumcision only outward and physical. No, a man is a Jew because He is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a man’s praise does not come from men, but from God.”

At the surface this sounds so easy to understand and yet as the days go by the reality of the choices made by a person reveal where their heart is or perhaps what their heart is made of. It is such a hard life sometimes. Its easy to be deceived and surely the enemy has his ways but the deception comes when you do not understand the flesh and you do not understand that its your own desires that corrupt you. The desires of the flesh, which at times can be so blatant like adultery and murder, can also be so confusing and obscure, in marriage for example, with simple arguments, disagreements without resolution, apologies unsaid, pride left unchecked, or harsh words overlooked, all of which are still desires of the flesh. The flesh desires its satisfaction and nothing spoils the flesh like denying its reward. There is nothing in an argument that kills the flesh sooner than acknowledging you wont get what you want by your own means; by a sarcastic comment or a harsh word, a cruel joke, an empty promise, or even physical outburst. While pure in motive, like receiving respect or love, we try to take what can’t be given in those moments. Or maybe cannot be given without letting go of the strife. Two people have to come to a place of letting go what they want in order to give to the other what they need, and most likely, what they aren’t deserving of due to their words and actions. It becomes clear that those moments are what Jesus died for and what He lives to do in all of us: give us unmerited grace. The Spirit is there to work through us in those moments where we are literally dying in order that we may live. Its too often we miss that simple truth, how did Jesus put it?

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?”

Its easy to love those who love you because you are receiving that need, you are a recipient. And yes, its important you get that need met, as much as you can and as often as you have breath in your body. To ignore that with selfless sacrifice time and time again isn’t godly. But its moments we are talking about where a need needs to be met and its those moments that it boils down to a choice: do I take what I am not being given, or give instead?

But the good news is that the flesh itself is not sin, just as the world is not either. Each are their own separate elements, of sorts, that fester on one another. The flesh is the jar of clay or earthen vessel that Paul talks about in 2 Corinthians 4. The words in Greek give the idea of tools or objects with the added sense of frailty. He says the reason is so the glory of God or excellence may not be mistaken for man. The fact being that we don’t get to get rid of our flesh, it isn’t sanctified with our salvation, it remains the flesh and always will till our time is up. The flesh is the weakened item that was made of the earth by God to house the spirit inside, the only creature with these qualities: a physical body with immortal soul. Angels and demons were not given physical bodies and animals were not given souls. So this body has its desires, some good when selfless and humble, many evil when selfish and hurt. But the spirit in us is renewed and can choose to satisfy the flesh or please the Spirit. And so we begin to hold our tongue, we remember the relationship, we seek the Spirit for guidance, we let go of what the flesh wants, we hold fast to the truths of the Word, and we remember we are not the architects of our life, that God will work things out for good for those who love Him. We simply let go and trust. We nurse the wounds the best we can, hopefully washing them in the water of the Word.

Why were we left with these hinderances to our purpose? Thats the thing… it is a curse to have these bodies but God created us with these bodies and while sin was a deciding factor how they would end up, they are still miraculous items. They are capable of wondrous abilities that take in the world around them and provide intense sensations. They are adaptable and practical in creating art, music, technology, structures. They are used to express physical intimacy, care, and love. They are also remarkably self preserving with intricacy in the genome that repairs the body and heals itself over time. God knew He was giving us amazing and spectacular tools to house these souls. And its my own belief He knew they would be corrupted even before He made them. And so this earthen vessel is now spoiled. And yet it functions to a remarkable ability even with that and it, I believe, gives hints to the heart of what God experiences with His children as a Father.

So what of the world? The world is decaying due to the corruption of sin. It was suggested that the effects of sin in man also corrupted the world. When we think of the miraculousness of the body and the systems God gave to all aspects of life: from photosynthesis, to the water cycle, the nervous system, the solar system, etc it is not a far stretch to imagine what life was like before the fall of man and no reason to doubt that death or destruction was never to reign. But the world is more than creation, its the culmination of the battleground against God, the ideas, thoughts, actions and inclinations of all corrupted hearts due to sin. The world is the idol setup against God in many cases: the example of what we desire over God. Is all of it evil? No, but like fresh water with a little dye the clarity is lost of its true purity. Is it beautiful? Of course. Is it amazing, yes! But does it conceal a darker aspect? Its like a faint whiff of something spoiling or maybe the sense that the colors could be brighter or more vibrant somehow. It isn’t obvious but when its noticed its hard to ignore. It takes effort to see passed the decay or dullness to find what God intended but just like platitudes or one-liners, to see the beauty without acknowledging the rot or vice versa is to choose ignorance of the evil all around us or to choose to ignore what God has done for us both before the fall and after Jesus rose from the dead.

And Satan? The accuser of the brethren who stands before the throne who accuses the brethren before God day and night (paraphrase) Revelation 12:10. Its unclear to me how he fits. Without physical form we don’t ‘hear’ a voice although he is called the ruler of the air. He was the ruler of this world with authority given to him by Adam. Now? He doesn’t have the final say in our outcome but still he evidently stands before God (or maybe he did before being cast down at Jesus birth, life, and resurrection) and accuses us. Sin is inherit in our bodies and the flesh is its tool for death, the world is the culmination of everything sinful that is in the creation God made and bears His mark, or lets say signature. And the devil? He was lord over all the world and men but now has been thrown down and still works somehow to convince us of either pride and independence from God or of a worthlessness that God would neither desire nor act to save such pathetic creatures. He deceives us from the truth simple as that. We find the evidence of that internally with doubt or despair, we lose hope, we lose love, we desire escape, we choose death either by our own hands or against others. The devil is insidious in his ways to have us see either all good or all evil and to lose perspective on the main elements that are needed to always be reminded of: that God is the one who is always good, that man is corrupted, evil, and deserving of death without any hope unless through Gods intervention, and, finally, in Gods infinite mercy He sent His son to die on our behalf, of His own will and independent of anything we have done, are doing, or will do all so we can accept the adoption on faith and be called sons and daughters and believe solely on the truth that God has done this for any and all people that receive it and they will not be taken away. Faith is all it is in the end. We look at ourselves, mourn the husk, remember the broken body, the poured blood, and let go of what we think or feel. We trust and move forward, many times limping, sometimes walking, and hopefully as time goes on, flying.

Isaiah 40:30-31 BSB

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall.

But those who wait upon the LORD will renew their strength;

they will mount up with wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not faint.

All of us are in the same boat. When it comes to the gift of grace that is given us we still have to give grace. When its forgiveness we then give forgiveness. When its love, we give love. Its not always from the hands and feet of the body of Christ but from God Himself in the quiet places. Its also not always from those you think it should come from and it also can be in the middle of trials and despair that He will speak to us. But that being said there is much we can look at if we are to decide to take on the crucible of relationships.

We are not all created alike and even seeming similarities are shaped by our parents, our siblings, our relationships, experiences, all on the foundation of uniqueness that God creates in us. There is much to decide when considering another person especially if we are wanting to marry them. Do we share our beliefs? While this seems obvious, God seems limitless in how He wants us to act in the body. Does he want ministers and prophets, does he want teachers and singers? Does he want plumbers and contractors? Does he want cooks in restaurants of their own or in their homes? Ultimately he wants followers no matter where they are. He created a world with infinite possibilities and while still corrupted by sin, His Kingdom is not of this world and will not be stopped by the decay of sin.

So does He want to change the business structure of a conglomerate? Does he want to witness to patrons enjoying a meal at a restaurant? Does He want to minister to a drinking college student in a bar? Whatever the case may be, it is something to consider if the person you wish to be with has the same mindset of building the Kingdom and in what they consider the arena God has placed on their heart. (As a side note: it should be understood that the most impact to anyone isn’t when joy is met with joy and kind acts are reciprocated, all cases above will see Christ manifest fully when faced with opposition, those moments when we decide to take evil and hatred and instead respond with love, to give grace when it isn’t deserved: that is the heart of God.)

And as far as beliefs, do they understand the scriptures? Do you? There is a reason the same message is repeated by theologians and disciples throughout the world and history. Who is God? Who is man? What is Truth? Do you know the fallacy of man, the sinful nature, the need for redemption for all men, do you see the men and women in the Bible and understand the same mistakes and sin inherit in them is in you? Does the person you are interested in know this as well? Do you know God? Do you understand His heart? Do you realize the reason He sent His son? Do you search the scriptures for the truth? Do you ask the Spirit for guidance? Are you a student of the Word? Do you see the world around you and see the truth? Do you as for clarity? Do you know Jesus? Do you try at least? Do you understand that no matter what, He is the way, the truth, and the life? Do you wrestle with it? All are questions to ask oneself not in the sense of getting answers in the moment but to understand the chasm that stands between God and man. Does the person you see in front of you do the same?

And what about your interests? What of your hobbies? These activities aren’t everything in life as some would make them but they are important. Ecclesiastes (2:24-26) speaks of the lot in life given by God and the simplicity of enjoying ones life. We must live according to Christ, made ever more into His image as every day passes, but in that we have a myriad of choices, not just where we work but where we relax, where we live, who we interact with and what those interactions will look like, all in the understanding that the harder times are what are needed in order to bring glory to God when we choose to love when we only want to do evil. Would it be better to be with a person who shares similar interests? That way the joys of the experiences are also shared with someone who believes the truths of God and you two can help each other? Like Peter and John who healed the cripple outside the temple, two were on the way to the temple for prayer as they did often, one spoke to the cripple as called by God but who is to say he would have if not for his friend with him which helped give him strength to act? We find strength with each other to do things we never thought possible, this is also important to consider.

What of physical beauty? While depraved by the worlds standards, attractiveness isn’t the same thing as beauty and we often confuse the two. We tend to describe people in general as ugly or homely or beautiful or handsome but each individual has different attractions to the people around them. You may value a face over body or height over weight, you may be attracted to a smile over a look, or a gesture over a tone. But once you find someone of overwhelming attraction to you that is the time to start to pray. You look hard at the person and then you listen. You listen to what God may say and listen to what the person says. You see if truth aligns, if interests match, you listen intently and you acknowledge the flesh inside you wants what it wants so you pray to God more earnestly that if this is one then you trust in God alone to open the doors. You let Him speak and act while you listen and wait. It simpler than you may think at this point: are you intimate in a way only a married couple should be? To be attracted to someone is important but its only the first step in a series of choices. The last thing you should do is only see one aspect of a person like their body, breasts, biceps, or clothing and ignore the rest, that is of the flesh and desirable only if you choose death over life.

Do you experience the person in the same environment or do you change the setting to see how they react to new experiences? Do you act the same around them toward others as you would around other people? We all find ourselves enamored in those early times, and yes it does fade, but are you the person they need you to be as much as you may want them to be for you? Are you stable? Do you have a vision for your life? Do you know your arena? Do you know your interests? Do you have a savings? Are you invested for the future? Are you reliable and dependable no matter the storm?

What about how we love or wish to be loved or how we apologize to others? What about how we speak about others? Do we touch or talk to connect, do we offer gifts or wish to spend time? When times are tough the actions you default to when engaging a spouse are the cries of a person needing those same things, do they respond naturally one way or another? You could be stacking the deck in your favor to find someone who shares how they wish to be loved or how they feel connected when apologized to because you too share those same desires. You listen to how they speak of others and ask yourself if you speak that same way. Are they similar enough that in times of difficulty the natural way of giving grace and love is received just as its given, in these things you may be giving yourself an edge over those people around you.

What about differences? It is true that the things we have the hardest time dealing with in other people are the things we despise in ourselves. There is nothing wrong with opposites being attracted to each other but how far apart does it need to be? If outgoing and sociable do you want to be with someone who never wants to do those things? God will work through opposites to balance each other out because without anyone to balance us we tend to lean to the extremes but are we adding more fuel to the wrong fire when we don’t at least take this into consideration? Would you not rather add fuel to a fire of passion rather than discord? Too many similarities is not good but too many differences could be equally destructive. And with the sea of possibilities in men and women with their personalities, experiences, and upbringing there is no reason to see life in terms of bifurcation: that you are either extroverted or introverted, that you are either personable or not. The truth is that life comes when people are loved and valued as well as when they are challenged and proactive. Someone can come alive in any situation rather than in every situation or setting. Which arenas and situations do you come alive in and which ones do you desire to come alive in? Maybe that someone is better at being alive in circumstances you are weaker in? Maybe they are stronger in arenas you wish to be stronger at? But also, what benefit are you to that person? Do they desire to be better and stronger as well? What benefit can you give them in an arena where you shine that can help them shine as well? Great connections make great relationships but only real people make up those relationships and even the best a person can be has infinite strength, compassion, patience, or love: why not look to see accurately if you counted the costs and weighed the measures to see if both of you are up to the task?

What about fun? What about playfulness? Mountains must be climbed and seas must be crossed but what benefit is it to anyone to conquer the world and never sit to enjoy any of it? Does this person have fun, do they stop to consider the weight of this life but also cast off worries in order to take in the moment for the pure joy that God has given to be in that moment? Do they take stock of priorities and consider serious matters in order to plan for the best and then sit and rejoice as they let God do what only He can do? Do you do the same? Do you always plan, do you always prepare, are you always serious? If so then these things are not good and not of God because you only are proving your trust is in you and not God. Do you always have fun? Do you only experience brevity and wistfulness in life? Are you unprepared for the storms that will come pretending any negative consequence is ‘Gods will?’ Then this also is not good or of God because you only prove that you believe in your idea of God and not God Himself. To go one way or to go another is not sinful as long as you remember that correction by the staff of the Great Shepherd is there to help us find the right path. But in all that to enjoy ones life is the will of God, He delights in you more than you know and the truth is you should also delight in that other person as much as they delight in you: the two of you can look at each other and be reminded of this delight. In this you may be stacking the deck in your favor because the storms of life will come and the fun you remember may be what hold the two of you together.

All in all God is the answer for it all. And of course that means in our sole worship of Him but also in His guidance, His sovereignty in working all things for your good, His crucibles and trials in honing you and preparing you for the person you desire, and His timing in making sure both of you are prepared the best you can be. Are you listening? Are you seeking? Nothing can prepare a person for the experiences he doesn’t know. Relationships are a battle ground at times due to the flesh, sin, and the devil and its in those experiences that we are further honed into the image of Christ by denying what we want solely in favor of living in the righteousness that God gave us in His son. Why not look accurately at the other person to see if all things are in the best alignment they can be? Why not ask others for wisdom, especially those who have good relationships?

Outwardly is one way of living, what others see, but that is no credit to anyone and in truth it is no credit to you either when you are unable to have any internal value system that matches the external words or actions. Righteousness is only for the one who is changed on the inside. And the truth is that it takes time to do that. Just like any profession or any trade no one masters it in a day. The question is how you learn, how you decide to see the moments in front of you. Its not easy at all, sometimes it is, but many times it is not. The closer the relationships, the more the challenge because they are sources for our needs being met but they are composed of sons and daughters, adopted by God, still living in jars of clay with needs of their own.

The practical circumstances for growth are everywhere if we have eyes to see, as are the joys of life. The flesh is ever present in all of them and its only with the Spirit are we capable of seeing them. Its in my opinion that a choice is then made and just like working out your muscles, its harder to begin to do the right thing. Perseverance is needed to see the work through. It will get easier and it will also bring greater challenges. Thats why God says to those that have much more will be required.